Crossing Guards Stoop Too

They hang out there every day. And they were way too loud this morning for the way I was feeling walking to the subway after partying away the last week of my twenties. What are they guarding anyway? School's not in. There are no kids.

Anyway, I woke up feeling grumpy and irresponsible after curing a hangover with a bottle of prosecco yesterday. (Thank you Robert and Connie) And I had to go to a meeting, which turned into me getting bought a nice fancy lunch by my client. She began by telling me about her bridal shower on Saturday. About how she drank two bottles of wine before two in the afternoon, puked twice, and then drove home giving up the worry of her breath smelling like alcohol, since it was probably oozing from pores all over her body. Hmm. A little weird. And she's thirty five.
Then the other lady starts talking. About how she has been stalking Steve Tyler for twenty years...which hotels she has photographed him in, what he was wearing in each shot, how he has posed for her, etc. She became more and more animated, and began to pose herself acting out the photos. Apparently she has also been bringing all of these photgraphs into the building and showing them to all the secretaries.
Yeah, this guy.

I left the meeting, and got to sit next to some lady on the train who kept muttering "He can't really be criminally insane...no, not really...it's not OK.."

I am very normal. And sane. And I don't drink my first bottle till way after two.